I have always believed in self care and that every woman should know her own body. It amazes me the women who do not know their own bodies. Self exploration is your Goddess right! To know yourself is to love yourself. How can a man truly please you, if you don’t know how to please yourself?  We seem to assume it’s okay when boys are in the bathroom too long.  It’s a right of passage that we accept as normal for boys but not for girls.

Self care helped me in my younger years to be chaste at times when I did not want to get involved in relationships. It helped me to be patient at times when I wanted otherwise to be desperate and lonely. Being hot and bothered is no way to live. Self care allowed me to relieve stress and feel love. Many of us teach our daughters that self care is wrong. However, when we do, we neglect to equip our daughters with choices.  Knowledge is power. We forget that sexuality is a very natural human instinct.  Sexuality keeps us young and alive, moving and creating.  So even if you don’t have a man or a husband, that doesn’t mean that you should not be caring for yourself sexually.

My sisters, if our communities are to heal, we must first heal our souls. This is not a plea for more religion but a plea for honest dialogue among sisters. I’ve noticed recently that it’s being said in the media that many sisters are quite upset  and that we think that white women are taking all the “eligible” brothas. Well, I say to those sisters, that a real women does not have to worry about other women taking her man. The issues we need to be concerned about are within the community and within ourselves, not without.

A real man will find a real woman who’s ready to be found. If that is you, you will be found.  Trust that your God has made provisions for you.

Self care also means caring for yourself emotionally, mentally and spiritually as well. Many of us have been through bad marriages and bad relationships. We’ve seen our mothers and sisters mistreated by their men. We are raising children alone. So we are bitter. Bitter and angry. The sad thing is that if we don’t get passed bitterness and anger, our lives will forever be held hostage by the past. Self care also means that you allow your heart to heal and you love yourself back to wholeness. We must learn to be our own best friend. We must treat ourselves lovingly until we are able to love and be loved again.

Self care helps us to know when a situation is not in our best interest. Sometimes doing what’s best for our loved ones mean doing what’s best for ourselves. When we learn to respect our intuition, we will lovingly take care of ourselves.  We will no longer lower our standards to try and receive love that we should already have for ourselves.

Creating our best lives possible mean that we are responsible for establishing our very own Queensland; among our family within this world.  A world where we are honored and adored by our children and our men.  As we honor the world as women, black American women.  We must teach our daughters how to create a life fit for a Negro Queen.

Some of us are accustomed to struggling, we saw our parents struggling, most of us, our mothers.  However, this is not the legacy we want our children to inherit.  We can teach our children a new legacy if we take the time to care for ourselves.

So, how do we start the process of passing a new legacy to our daughters to help them grow into empowered women?

How do we teach them to be a true to themselves, not in a selfish way but in a way that honors them and their community?

Thanks for sharing.

Kelara